THE MAN DOWNSTAIRS IS VERY CLEVER

Player Information

Name: Sharron
Contact: PM or Plurk: back_tothewall
Age: 28
Other Characters: N/A

Character Information

Name: Stanley Pines
Canon: Gravity Falls
Canon Point: Post Series
Age: Late 50's
History: VWDQ LV QRW ZKDW KH VHHPV
Personality: To the tourists he was Mister Mystery, a charming and charismatic showman. The locals of Gravity Falls recognized him as a charlatan and thief. However, to his great niece and nephew, he was a cranky, gross, weird old man with the face of a troll and heart of a lion.

Son of tough New Jersey native Filbrick Pines, Stan inherited his father's stubbornness and mothers silver tongue. As a boy he dreamed of adventure, sailing the sea in search of treasure and babes with his brother at his side. Some might consider it childish to hold onto such a fantasy but it never stopped Stan. For someone pushing sixty, Stan still enjoys pulling pranks (especially those that involve scaring children), eating ice cream for dinner, and setting off fireworks on the roof. As a summer caretaker, Stan is incredibly irresponsible. He allows his niece and nephew to wander freely, carry a weapon around town and even encourages them to avenge him after his wax duplicate is murdered.

Stan admits to his niece and nephew that he has little to no regard for other people. Whether he has to cheat, steal, or lie to obtain what he wants, Stan's determination has no moral boundaries. As a "retired" con artist he's well-versed in turning on the charm to earn a buck. He's especially good at lying to people's faces but when unexpectedly confronted Stan has a tendency to stumble over his words and show visible signs of discomfort. Due to his tactlessness, honesty fails to serve Stan any better. He will voice his opinion when it comes to mundane everyday matters but, much to the dismay of others, with no filter. If his brain says that lady's got an ugly baby, his mouth says, "whoa, lady, you got one ugly baby."  He takes great pleasure from the misfortune of others, willing to partake in the ridicule of even his own family. He's cynical, crass, and mannerless. According to Stan, just saying 'please' gives him a burning sensation. Overall, he's a pretty big jerk!

As a frequent liar, Stan is a man with as many secrets as he has wrinkles. He speaks seldom about his past and only to those he truly confides in. Even then it may not be an honest representation of events; Stan said his life in the late 60's was great but in reality lived in his car and survived on scratch tickets. He refuses to ask for help and struggles to show weakness or appear vulnerable. He tries to mask this through lies, denying that he's crying while actively doing or has a crush on Lazy Susan after a failed attempt at flirting right in front of his niece.

Stan may not consider himself particularly clever next to his brother but proves his cunning on many occasions. He foils Gideon's scheme to trick him into signing over the deed to the Mystery Shack, outwits a math wizard from his nephew's nerd game Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons (don't you dare tell anyone he played it), and taught himself how to operate an interdimensional portal.
 
Hardened by a life on the run, it can take Stan time to warm up to people. Once he comes to accept someone however they've got a friend for life. Going so far as to punch a pterodactyl in the face for his niece and attempt to get a day removed from the calendar for his son handyman, Stan will go great lengths for those he cares about. He claims he's a coward but whether it's an army of zombies or an all-powerful demon, if it means protecting those he cares about, Stan always finds the courage he needs to face a challenge.
 
That said, behind his rough exterior, Stan is caring, protective, and loyal to those he deems close (even if he pretends otherwise). He admits he lied to his niece and nephew regarding the strange happenings in Gravity Fall to protect them and when the two went looking for monsters he would often try to mislead them with other tasks. Stan has even proven to put the kid's needs before his own whether it means sitting through another episode of Shimmer Twinkle Heart with his niece or helping his nephew destroy a relationship, he'll do his best to come through at the end of the day.

Abilities:
Punching! Stan is a skilled boxer through both lessons and life experience. He may be old but make no mistake, he can carry himself in a fight.

Lying: Can lie in .00531 seconds. Stan has lied nearly his entire life from his name to what he ate for dinner. He's impersonated dentists, magicians, and the world's nerdiest old man. Trust a con-man to twist the truth any way he can. Scratch that; don't trust him.

Thievery: Lockpicking, insurance fraud, first-degree thermometer theft... Stan's stolen nearly everything under the sun from golf carts to animatronic badgers.

Sales/Management: Stan has a surprisingly good business sense. He might not like people but he understands to a degree how they think. He also knows how to effectively manage his staff. After thirty years in the business, he's picked up a few tricks.

Strengths: Protective, Loyal, Brave, Cunning, Strong-Willed
Weaknesses: Irresponsible, Stubborn, Dishonest, Tactless, Gruff,  Being the worst

God/Shinki: Shinki
Why?: He protec! Through the series, Stan is a protector of money, secrets, and family. It seems only fitting that he be the protector of a God.
Cause Of Death: A violent storm fractures and traps Stan under his ship (the Stan O' War). His last memory is reaching for a six-fingered hand before he's swallowed by the cold dark sea.
Vessel: A pair of brass knuckle dusters
Name Location: Left forearm
Power: Confusion: Do you like to be befuddled? Bewildered? Blackmailed? (Forget that last one) Then step right up and be amazed by your own uncertainty. Stan has the ability to temporarily disorientate his opponents. Side effects of confusion may include: a lost sense of direction, loss of balance, loss of bearings, or loss of wallet. Occasionally those affected by confusion may hurt themselves or teammates if used repeatedly at one time. A God may activate this power by making eye contact and winking at a target. Confusion can be seen through (resisted) by characters with high perception or wearing sunglasses (something obscuring eye contact). The effects of confusion may last up to five minutes.

Writing Sample

Sample:
"Lousy kids..." Stan stopped and frowned at the distant laughter. "Don't think I won't find you!" he yelled, shaking his fist in no direction in particular.

Some haunted forest this turned out to be. And people called his attractions lousy. Ha! This place had nothing on the shack. Where were the spookums; the ghouls and the goblins? The monsters that hid under your bed at night? There was nothing spook-tacular here at all. Heck, he'd have been ecstatic to find so much as a gnome. The only residents here were a few lousy bugs and some rabbits he'd seen frolicking.

That was before the laughter had started.

It had seemed innocent enough, some kids merely playing in the woods. But as time passed they had begun to get on his nerves. It was as though they were mocking him, giggling amongst themselves each wrong turn he took. He had tried to find them but in the act became lost himself. Stan swore aloud if he ever found them he'd teach them a lesson they'd never forget. Also, that he hoped the rabbits he'd seen gnawed their little ankles.

He shakes his head and tries to focus. "Come on Stan, you've been in tighter spots than this. Don't let 'em get to you. It's just like Mojave. Just gotta get moving."

How long had he been wandering this forest anyway? Was it only an hour or had it been three? Had he already walked through this clearing? He'd certainly passed that tree before - the knott in it looks like the face of former Late Night host Jay Leno.

"Ugh! I refuse to be outsmarted by a bunch of trees. You hear that?" Stan shouts at the forest. "No one holds Stan Pines against his will!"

Except maybe that prison in Columbia.

Other
TDM With Snatcher

Anything Else?: Could Stan be paired with Snatcher? The two are a danger to themselves and everyone around them.